Blast from the past

In the past few months, apart from wearing masks, we have also picked up another habit. Video calls! Since we can’t meet in person we meet online. A friend of mine started these calls last year in order to keep herself busy and her morals high since she was expecting her first baby during the first wave of the pandemic. She kept adding people to our group, then she created another group and another and we ended up talking in six different groups.

Lately, we picked up the habit again. Two weeks ago, on a busy night, I joined the call 20 minutes later. She thought she had accidentally removed me from the group and added me again. However, it was a different group…. Her long distant family member whom I once dated was also in the call . He was shocked to see me and it was obvious. I was shocked to see him but I didn’t make it obvious. I greeted him politely and for the rest of the call we ignored each other-which was easy to do because there were about eight of us.

My old flame and I dated for a few months. I was young and silly and was looking for my one true love. He was ten years older, divorced, between jobs and he didn’t want to settle down again. When moved to another continent in search of a better future I was left crying and posting love songs on my social media account. We hardly ever communicated and four years later he got married. He didn’t want to settle down with me but he married someone else.

After the call ended, he messaged me. He said he wanted to apologize for behaving like an idiot ten years ago. And then he said the words I longed to hear.” I ‘m sorry. I should have treated you better”. We ended up having a video call that lasted forever. We did a lot of catching up and had a major throwback.

That night, I realized how much I have matured in the past ten years. Don’t get me wrong. I still have a long way to go… I did have a tiny butterfly in my stomach we started our conversation but things are no longer the same. We have no future together, nor want to have a future together. If I met him now, I doubt I would date him even though he is single again. I have learned from my mistakes.

Apart from that, I care deeply for my ex-partner with whom we broke up over a year ago. But the former object of affection is another chapter…

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